Small Talk

Penge naman ako nyan, ang pangit ng araw ko…

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Remember how last time I blogged about almost losing my phone and PSP to thieves on a bus? Well, someone came along and finished the job.

I am stewing mad, mad, mad!

In an earlier post I explained that I got myself a PSP because all the buses that ply the Buendia-Ayala route invariably tune in to Love Radio, which I vengefully detest because there’s no worse way to start your day than with synchronized mirthless laughter courtesy of Nicole Heyala and Chris Tsuper.

So there I was toying with my PSP.  At my stop, I got up along with a few dozen people to squeeze out of the bus. And the 30 seconds it took for me to stand up and get off the bus was enough for some fanged thief to slash into the innards of my bag with a blade and steal my PSP.  And I was completely unaware.

And I just got that bag! Grrrr! My animal instincts are kicking into high gear. I could just about perform wondrous feats of inhumane violence right now.

My casualties? 1 Sony PSP. 1 Deuter Speedlite 20 bag. 1 absolutely shattered ego.

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Later that day I accidentally ripped my polo shirt up its sides.  And if that wasn’ t bad enough, I also accidentally ripped my slacks’ zipper – and at this point I would like explain to my office mates that this was the sole reason I kept my hands on my crotch the whole day.Please don’t read anything else into it.

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So now I am really cross, and I hope I don’t run into any foul jokesters because, frankly, I’m in the mood to crack skulls.

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So much for catharsis…

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The other week when them con men tried their luck on me as I was on my way home on the bus.

The sheer audacity!

I’m letting you in on one of their modi. Consider yourself warned.

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There I was on the bus, tinkering with my PSP when I felt a rough hand pawing between my back and the seat - supposedly fishing for something that had dropped.  Rather irritated at the rudeness of it all, I looked up and asked, “What’s wrong? Did you drop something?”

Con man 1 keeps his lid.  And I still don’t like the thought of his scaly hand down my back, so I stand up to let him ‘search’ for whatever it is he dropped(a coin, a ticket, his false teeth, I don’t know).

As I stood up, the guy beside me stood up as well, making as if to get off at the next stop; so I’m pushed out into the bus aisle.

Right about then I realized that I was surrounded at every side by people that were all preparing to “get off” the bus.  The guy in front of me did his best statue impression and hogged up all the space in front of me and wouldn’t let anyone get through.

“I’m getting off at the next stop, too,” he lied.

Now, my suspicion meter is off the charts.  I grasped my bag and PSP with my left hand and straddled my wallet(back pocket) and phone(ratty K608i, front pocket) with my right hand, and braced myself for some pushing and shoving.

And push and shove they did.

The wonder of it all was when even with my right hand over my pockets, they were still able to get my phone to pop out of its restraints.

Fortunately, right hand wasn’t that useless. It felt my phone pop out.  And in a wink, it scrambled to retrieve my traumatized phone.

I muscled my way out of the aisle, into a clearing and checked my stuff while warily eyeing those guys who bungled their con on me.

Surely enough, they hurried off the bus at the next stop.

I checked my stuff again. Wallet. Check. Bag. Check. Phone. Check. Whew, safe today. Thank God.

However, It turns out that by moving into the clearing, I trapped on of their accomplices. I gave him a good long look (I really wasn’t sure if he was an accomplice, but I’d bet my trousers and that he was).  He looked rather uncomfortable before blurting, “Did you lose something?”

The nerve.

As I collected myself (honestly, I had to shake off murderous thoughts from my head), the bus conductor said something that made my ears burn.

“They almost got you there.  They wouldn’t take a seat at the back. I knew they were up to something.”

Why they almost did, didn’t they? Thanks a lot! I don’t see the point in you telling me something you should have told me when it was happening.

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There, I’ve vented.  Peace has been restored to my world.

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I’ve always maintained that I was safer walking home that riding on the bus. This here proves my point.