In response to Dothy’s question as to how I’d like to die.My answer would be “Not.”
But barring that impossibility, I’d say, any way would be fine.As long as it does not involve drowning, fire, falling off heights, cancer, death by lethal odors, straining at the stool, slipping on the bathroom tiles, choking, and most especially not Alzheimer’s
God willing, here’s how I want to kick the bucket:lying comfy on my deathbed, with friends and family surrounding, I’d like to dart in and out of consciousness with this song playing in the background.
I’ve always said that the reason I didn’t pursue a medical career was because I wouldn’t trust myself with a scalpel – I’m just too clumsy and impatient.
Last Sabbath, I have been brought to realize the real reason being a doctor was not for me:
I can’t bear to look Death in the face.
In a dramatic stare down with the last enemy, I would always look away. And that’s exactly what happened when we visited a few patients at the Manila Sanitarium.
Up to that point, we had generally been visiting patients with non mortal illnesses; we’d drop in with a song and a prayer, and hope that they’d take the message and the care back home with a smile.
But the patient we visited at 209 was different. There would be no going home for her. Her with the youngish, yellowish face and lifeless, half open stare.
Upon entering the room, you just felt the sadness in the air, a heavy tension that made it hard for me to breathe. I wanted to leave. There was no conversation, only a contemplative silence I found deafening.
We started with a song, and the people around got teary eyed. I was then asked to lead in prayer. But not being particularly blessed with the gift of prayer, I was tentative with what to do.
I first read from Psalms 146:3-6
“Do not trust influential people, mortals who cannot help you. When they breathe their last breath, they return to the ground. On that day their plans come to an end. Blessed are those who receive help from the God of Jacob. Their hope rests on the Lord their God, who made heaven, earth, the sea, and everything in them. The Lord remains faithful forever.”
I then led prayer; and like a once in a lifetime shot, I felt God talking to the family of the patient, comforting them of their grief and reassuring them of His plan. I felt like a spectator watching the unseen at work.
I felt used. And it was a good feeling.
Tears freely flowing, they thanked us for the visit and saw us out the room.
Maybe if I got to hang around the dying more often, I’d get used to seeing life escape the mortal coil. But you know what? I don’t want to get used to it. I just want it to end. And if what the Book says is true, then it should end soon.
But until then we need His reassurance, and each other, to tide us over to that day.
